1 00:00:01,390 --> 00:00:07,490 What will I do when you are far 2 00:00:07,490 --> 00:00:12,830 away and I am blue? 3 00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:18,730 What will I do when I'm alone 4 00:00:18,730 --> 00:00:25,110 with only dreams of you? 5 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,180 What'll I do? 6 00:00:59,070 --> 00:01:01,250 The share is the benches at Wimbledon. 7 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,629 Yeah, I couldn't have ever thanked a bloke with false teeth. 8 00:01:08,010 --> 00:01:09,010 Hi, Trace. 9 00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:12,990 Are you still in there, are you? Any longer and you'll get poached. 10 00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:18,130 Two to be taken four times a day before meals. 11 00:01:18,710 --> 00:01:20,030 What if you ain't got no appetite? 12 00:01:20,610 --> 00:01:22,830 Are you sure those acutablets are strong enough? 13 00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:24,410 I don't know. 14 00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:25,950 I feel lousy. 15 00:01:26,590 --> 00:01:28,470 But maybe I feel worse about them. 16 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:31,370 No. I don't feel worse than this. 17 00:01:32,150 --> 00:01:33,310 That's out of it, Trey. 18 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,470 You can't stay on trance for the next ten years. 19 00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:37,970 It ain't ten years. 20 00:01:38,350 --> 00:01:40,790 The good behaviour will be out on July the 15th, 1997. 21 00:01:41,770 --> 00:01:42,770 What time? 22 00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:43,850 7am. 23 00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:46,850 Look, it ain't funny, Sharon. I've lost a man I love. 24 00:01:47,250 --> 00:01:49,590 It's all right for you. You're happy they put your crick away. 25 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:51,610 I'm not happy. 26 00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:54,090 I'm ecstatic. 27 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:56,890 You've been so heartless. 28 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:02,720 Well, 29 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:07,880 I've told you before about eating them in the jacuzzi. Daryl says it burns up 30 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:08,880 the filter. 31 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:09,919 Oh! 32 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,500 Oh, calm down. 33 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,220 Say a few crumbs. 34 00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:17,820 Perrier. 35 00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:19,460 Camembert. 36 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,600 Fromage fraise. 37 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:27,040 What happened to egg and bacon? 38 00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:28,540 Fried bread? 39 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,080 Porridge? Sorry, forget I said porridge. 40 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,920 Why, it's cold. Not the fridge, your face. 41 00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:36,600 Just making conversation. 42 00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:38,220 Well, don't. 43 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:39,280 Suit yourself. 44 00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:43,660 You eating that, measly? 45 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:45,240 What's it look like? 46 00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:48,580 Looks like pig's will, if it's going begging. 47 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,860 Oh, pig's will's right, the noise you make. 48 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,820 I'm just draining out the hard bits from me teeth. 49 00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:58,860 The hard bits are good for you. 50 00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:03,720 That's what Chris used to say when we were caught in... Here. 51 00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:06,840 Guess what I've got in my pocket. 52 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,260 He used to say that, didn't he, Wretch? 53 00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:11,840 Put a sock in it, Sharon. 54 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,380 No, no, no, it's not a sock. 55 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:18,140 It's a letter addressed to you in a childish, unformed hand. 56 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,400 The question is, why is my Chris writing to you? 57 00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:23,840 It is, slagbag. It's from Garth. 58 00:03:24,250 --> 00:03:25,790 Oh, I bet he's found out about his dad. 59 00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:27,630 You mean he's not Daryl's? 60 00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:31,590 You can always go back to Edmonton, you know. You're supposed to be here to 61 00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:32,590 cheer me up. 62 00:03:32,650 --> 00:03:33,670 Sorry, Trace. 63 00:03:34,610 --> 00:03:36,410 So what's my nephew got to say for himself? 64 00:03:36,910 --> 00:03:38,250 Dear Mummy and Daddy. 65 00:03:39,310 --> 00:03:40,750 Dear Mummy and Daddy. 66 00:03:41,650 --> 00:03:42,970 Must be an echo in here. 67 00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:45,330 I can't. You read it. 68 00:03:47,250 --> 00:03:48,650 Dear Mummy and Daddy. 69 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,460 Sorry I haven't written before, but I'm having such a super time here, I forgot 70 00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:54,460 to. 71 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,160 Fisk's is a great school. 72 00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:58,060 I've really settled in well. 73 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:04,380 All the stories about bullying and caning and rotten food and cold dorms 74 00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:09,800 sinister homosexual initiation rites aren't true at all. 75 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,500 A lovely turn of phrase, isn't he? 76 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,920 Mind you, it's spelling. 77 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,700 Initiation, right? R -I -T -E -S. Oh, that's it. 78 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:25,780 I'm really looking forward to you both coming up to Fisk's on our open day next 79 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:30,340 week. And maybe you can take me into Kettering for a slap -up curry. 80 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,440 Not that food here isn't fitting. 81 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,300 I love you both, Garth. 82 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:37,380 Oh, bless him. Sounds like he's setting in OK. 83 00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:41,460 So when are you going to tell him that his dad's staying at the Queen's Hotel? 84 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,360 I can't. I can't. 85 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:49,520 Why are you going to tell him that his dad's been selected for the first manned 86 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,580 space flight to Saturn? 87 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,100 I thought maybe I could say that Daryl's gone to build a conservatory in the 88 00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:54,799 Middle East. 89 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:55,800 For eight years? 90 00:04:57,700 --> 00:05:01,860 Tracy, the Crystal Palace didn't take eight years. Don't be so stupid. 91 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:03,440 I've thought it all through. 92 00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:07,020 See, I've picked on the Middle East so that after a few months I could say that 93 00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:09,340 Daryl's been taken hostage by Shiite militants. 94 00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:12,460 Well, Shiite's the word. 95 00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:16,890 Right then, Kate Adie, what would you tell Garth? 96 00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:18,310 The truth. 97 00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:21,210 It'll have to come out in the end. I can't. 98 00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:24,370 Honesty is the best policy, Trace. 99 00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:25,890 Did you make that up yourself? 100 00:05:26,850 --> 00:05:30,190 No, it was a motto in a box of Christmas crackers I nicked out at low price. 101 00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:34,990 You ain't got no braids. 102 00:05:35,450 --> 00:05:37,070 Yeah, well, you know where the shops are. 103 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,560 Well, thank you ever so much for demonstrating your new rotating spit, 104 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,160 I'll certainly discuss it with my husband. 105 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,560 Dorian! Hi! 106 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:05,800 Dorian, hang on! 107 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,160 Dorian, any chance of a lift? 108 00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:12,300 Dorian! 109 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:15,900 It's me, Sharon. 110 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:17,960 I'm aware it's you, Sharon. 111 00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:20,770 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go home and put on Marcus's dinner. 112 00:06:21,050 --> 00:06:22,050 Won't suit you. 113 00:06:22,570 --> 00:06:26,830 It's pottos first. It needs a lot of simmering. 114 00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:30,770 Unlike Luke Skywalker and his rotating spit, eh? 115 00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:32,570 I've nothing to say to you, dear. 116 00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:36,910 And will you take your hand off my car? Your sweat is dulling the bright work. 117 00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:44,190 What's got into you, face ape? 118 00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:46,590 Oh, no, don't answer that one. 119 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,200 So what's the problem? 120 00:06:48,780 --> 00:06:52,800 Didn't your vikings take you all the way to Valhalla? You don't realise, do you? 121 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,860 You just don't understand the cataclysmic impact your husbands have 122 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,680 No. That's because I only speak English. 123 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:04,040 Marcus has calculated that having a pair of gangster's moles living next door 124 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,840 has knocked at least 40 ,000 off the value of our house. 125 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:08,280 Gangster's moles? 126 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:09,880 Look, we didn't even know that... Oh, please. 127 00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:12,960 How can you live with someone and not know his every movement? 128 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:14,280 I don't know. 129 00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:19,770 I'll have to ask your Marcus if he knows your every movement, particularly at 130 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:22,410 the Lundquist Kitchen and Ecstasy showroom. 131 00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:25,110 You wouldn't tell Marcus that. Well, let's put it this way. 132 00:07:25,430 --> 00:07:27,650 A gangster's mould's never grass on a friend. 133 00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:30,710 But then you ain't a friend no more, are you? 134 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:49,190 Dan, Dan, the chlorine man. 135 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,210 I've come to give you a good service in. 136 00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:55,090 And while I'm at it, I might even do your pool for you as well, if you like. 137 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,229 Do you get it? 138 00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:57,230 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 139 00:08:01,490 --> 00:08:02,630 I've always liked this pool. 140 00:08:03,710 --> 00:08:04,710 Nicest pool in Chippewa. 141 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:07,430 What? I mean, Bobby Moore's got a bigger one. 142 00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:09,890 But it's football shakes, you know. 143 00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:13,230 Very difficult to work out how much chlorine you've got a bung in it, you 144 00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:14,230 what I mean? 145 00:08:15,970 --> 00:08:18,950 By the way, I was sorry to hear about your old man getting banged up. 146 00:08:19,410 --> 00:08:20,410 Who's been drawing? 147 00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:21,469 The next door. 148 00:08:21,470 --> 00:08:24,830 Oh, yeah, should have known. All math and shoulder pads, though. Yeah. 149 00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:27,130 I bet you feel you lost a loved one, don't you? 150 00:08:27,350 --> 00:08:28,990 I have lost a loved one, you dope. 151 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,170 Yeah, of course you have. 152 00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:32,789 Of course you have. 153 00:08:34,049 --> 00:08:36,549 So, er, keen swimmer, are you? 154 00:08:37,390 --> 00:08:38,390 Not really. 155 00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:41,070 In fact, I don't suppose I'll ever swim in it again. 156 00:08:41,289 --> 00:08:42,570 No? Why is that? 157 00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:43,789 Because it makes me cry. 158 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,190 What, too much chlorine? 159 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:49,000 Oh, the thought of my Daryl in it every morning doing his lengths. 160 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,100 He'd like to get a lengthening in the mornings, didn't he? 161 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:55,960 You can blame him. 162 00:08:56,260 --> 00:08:57,260 Dirty little sod. 163 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:58,920 Just trying to be jovial. 164 00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:01,080 Look, just clean the pool, all right? 165 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:02,360 All right. 166 00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:07,780 So, uh, how old will you be when your old man gets out of neck then? 167 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,980 I'll be 40. All right, nosy? 168 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:14,480 40? Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear. 169 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,160 What are you getting at? 170 00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:20,120 Well, you've just got to get on with life, haven't you? Pick yourself up, 171 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:21,420 new people, get out and about. 172 00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,300 You're trying to pull me, aren't you? 173 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:24,720 No, no, no. 174 00:09:25,660 --> 00:09:31,640 Well, obviously, I wouldn't kick you out of... I wouldn't say no. You're a very 175 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:35,980 tasty... You're a very attractive woman. 176 00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:37,900 So you are trying to pull me, then? 177 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:44,000 Well, every night... I'll go down the flying angel. Now, if you want to come 178 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,560 down there sometime, have a bit of a bevy, a bit of a laugh. 179 00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:49,240 Now, on Thursday, there's a wet T -shirt competition. 180 00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:51,580 I'm not suggesting you went or anything. 181 00:09:51,860 --> 00:09:56,360 I'd like to see a pair of pert nipples prodding through the flimsy fabric of a 182 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:57,360 wet T -shirt. 183 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,020 Blimey. This could be my lucky day. 184 00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:04,660 Fuck! 185 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,680 Oh, no, it ain't. 186 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,530 I'm going to get him struck off. 187 00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:16,730 He's a poor man, Trace. 188 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,510 Not a guy in a college, is he? 189 00:10:18,970 --> 00:10:22,050 Oh, it's all right for you. You weren't sexually harassed. 190 00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:23,990 All right, don't rub it in. 191 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:27,770 Next time, you can go up the shop. 192 00:10:28,290 --> 00:10:29,370 I could have been raped. 193 00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:31,130 Oh, do me a favour. 194 00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:33,730 It was him what needed mouth -to -mouth. 195 00:10:34,570 --> 00:10:37,210 Good job I come home when I did, or the poor bloke would be trans. 196 00:10:38,290 --> 00:10:40,410 I thought he was bluffing to get a snog. 197 00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:42,340 How was I to know he couldn't swim? 198 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,140 Bit stupid in his line of business. 199 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:51,000 When I tell Daryl tomorrow... You can't tell him. 200 00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:53,180 The poor bloke will go spare. 201 00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:57,380 Well, he can't do anything about it, can he? Locked up in there. 202 00:10:58,260 --> 00:11:01,600 No, you've got to talk about nice, warm family things. 203 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:02,840 Keep his pecker up. 204 00:11:03,180 --> 00:11:04,180 You're right, Shell. 205 00:11:04,340 --> 00:11:06,240 I'm going to write down everything I want to say. 206 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,680 Otherwise I'll get all tongue -tied. 207 00:11:08,670 --> 00:11:11,190 Oh, I don't need to write down what I'm going to say to Chris. 208 00:11:12,050 --> 00:11:13,390 I've learned it by heart. 209 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:15,790 On your bike, toe rag. 210 00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:19,850 I'll get it. 211 00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:22,270 Might be the pool man back for another Frenchie. 212 00:11:27,210 --> 00:11:28,470 I've come to apologise. 213 00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:32,810 Don't stand on ceremony. Come in. 214 00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:37,290 Tracy. Sharon. 215 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,160 What can I say? 216 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,220 Plenty. Unless you put your tongue in traction. 217 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:46,080 I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. She knows, Trace. 218 00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:51,420 I just want to offer a total, unequivocal, 100 % apology for what I 219 00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,820 Sharon. You got something I can put the flowers in? 220 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:55,520 Your mouth. 221 00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,500 There's a vase under the sink. 222 00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:01,940 So what happens this half past eleven, then? 223 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,100 Are the ads valued, have you? 224 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:08,720 Please, it's nothing to do with money. 225 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,540 It's just I've come to realise that I was wrong to judge. 226 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:18,660 Let she who is without extra marital nookie cast the first stone, eh? 227 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:22,700 And what's the big idea mouthing off to the pullman about my Daryl? I know, I 228 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,500 know. Sorry, grovel grovel. 229 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,460 Look, I know I've got a mouth on me. Like a whale? 230 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:30,880 A sperm whale. 231 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,740 But I've got a heart of gold. 232 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,120 Ask anyone. 233 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:37,740 She got an alcohol chill. 234 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,660 That's the buzz on the street, Trace. 235 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,040 And on it, please. 236 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,200 I just want to be friends. 237 00:12:48,820 --> 00:12:51,340 What, a pair of gangster's moles like us? 238 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,140 I have apologised. 239 00:12:54,380 --> 00:12:56,180 I have brought and arranged flowers. 240 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,440 All right, Dorian, apologies accepted. Now, do you want a sandwich? 241 00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:01,560 Uh, no. 242 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,160 Can I have two? 243 00:13:04,340 --> 00:13:05,340 Yes, lovely. 244 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:06,840 No milk. Slice of lemon. 245 00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:08,640 Don't think we've got a lemon. 246 00:13:08,860 --> 00:13:09,860 We've got a grapefruit. 247 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:12,840 I'll drink it black. 248 00:13:13,820 --> 00:13:15,700 So, Tracy, how are you bearing up? 249 00:13:16,660 --> 00:13:17,940 The nights are the worst. 250 00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:21,360 I just lie there thinking about how it used to be with Daryl. 251 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,500 Tossing and turning, remembering. 252 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,460 Doctors put me on pills. 253 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,580 Oh, don't start on tablets. You don't want to get involved with tablets. I 254 00:13:28,580 --> 00:13:30,520 about tablets. I trained as a Samaritan. 255 00:13:36,220 --> 00:13:37,720 I did all the training. 256 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,580 I was prepared to commit myself. 257 00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:43,120 Only in the end, they said my listening skills weren't quite up to scratch. And 258 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,380 I said, what? And they said, your listening skills aren't quite up to 259 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:53,000 But the stories I heard, women on tablets for 20 years, it's a life 260 00:13:53,980 --> 00:13:57,340 Now, I know your Daryl is going to be behind bars until the Queen's golden 261 00:13:57,340 --> 00:14:00,060 wedding. But he will come out. 262 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,820 And when he does, he doesn't want to see his wife turn into a pill -popping 263 00:14:03,820 --> 00:14:04,820 zombie. 264 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,100 She's right, Trane. 265 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,180 No, better than drugs. You want to pamper yourself. I mean, look at you. 266 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,300 When did you last put on make -up? 267 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,460 When did you last have your hair done? 268 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,200 Last day of the trial. 269 00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:17,300 You haven't had your hair done in over a week. 270 00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:20,380 I haven't had my hair done in over a year. 271 00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:23,180 There's no point throwing good money after bad. 272 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,140 Sharon, sorry, just a joke, I promise. 273 00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:31,180 I don't think it's very funny. 274 00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:33,760 A bad joke, I admit it. I ought to bite my tongue. 275 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,120 Mm, there. 276 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,780 Listen, Tracy, when you go to visit your Daryl, he doesn't want to see you 277 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:41,780 looking like this. 278 00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:43,480 This is a good day. 279 00:15:15,469 --> 00:15:18,730 So, while the other cadets were re -enacting the invasion of the Falkland 280 00:15:18,730 --> 00:15:20,010 Islands, I sloped off. 281 00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:23,330 It's the right catering station, and here I am, playing truant. 282 00:15:23,650 --> 00:15:26,450 It ain't truancy, Garth. It's desertion. 283 00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:28,750 When you go back, they'll probably shoot you. 284 00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:30,170 Ah, they won't. 285 00:15:30,570 --> 00:15:31,830 Because I ain't never going back. 286 00:15:33,370 --> 00:15:34,370 Ain't never. 287 00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:37,910 Is this the same kid what wrote that lovely letter? 288 00:15:38,550 --> 00:15:43,270 Dear Mumsy and Dadsy, Latin is super, spotted dick is spiffing. 289 00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:45,540 coded message. 290 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,740 Oh, well, I didn't get it. 291 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,320 Did you? 292 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,720 I mean, do I ever call Mum and Dad Mummy and Daddy? 293 00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:53,140 Of course not. 294 00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:54,500 That's a secret signal. 295 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,120 I worked out with Dad in case I had Niagara at school. 296 00:15:57,740 --> 00:15:58,980 But he must have stuffed it. 297 00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:01,640 Oh, well, he ain't seen it yet. 298 00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:03,460 Well, why not? 299 00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:04,780 Do you want another sandwich? 300 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000 No. 301 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:07,160 Why'd he read it? 302 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:09,920 Well, he's been tied up. 303 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:11,640 He ain't been home for a few days. 304 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,000 Well, where is he then? 305 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:14,430 Are you doing a job somewhere? 306 00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:16,770 Look, your mum will be home in a few minutes. 307 00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:20,390 Something's up, innit? 308 00:16:21,550 --> 00:16:22,770 They ain't split up, have they? 309 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,230 Is that why they sent me off to Fife? Because they're splitting up? 310 00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:28,630 Don't be daft. 311 00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:31,610 Look, they're potty about each other. 312 00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:34,670 It's embarrassing to go out with them in public sometimes. 313 00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:36,890 Well, then what is it, then? 314 00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:40,150 Thank you very much, Tracey. 315 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:48,620 I love Marcus Groping a quarter of a million a year, but he's never there 316 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:50,640 need him emotionally or physically. 317 00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:53,140 Dorian. 318 00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:56,340 Can I help it if I'm a sensual person, Tracy? 319 00:16:57,660 --> 00:17:01,200 There's no good Marcus being tied up in the boardroom when I want to be tied up 320 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,200 in the bedroom. 321 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,420 Haven't you got no shame? 322 00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:06,140 What do you mean, shame? 323 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:10,060 This is home territory. All the boys know me. We have no secrets. 324 00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:13,510 Catholics go to the confessional. 325 00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:17,410 Rich, poor Jewish housewives go to the health car and have a fair. 326 00:17:18,369 --> 00:17:19,990 It's just not fair, is it? 327 00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:23,790 You're with a bloke you couldn't give a toss about, and I'm kept apart from the 328 00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:25,310 most important person in my life. 329 00:17:25,849 --> 00:17:27,849 And what am I going to tell my Garth? 330 00:17:28,109 --> 00:17:29,830 I think this is where we came in. 331 00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:31,630 Tell him the truth. 332 00:17:31,910 --> 00:17:32,910 I can't. 333 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,010 Ow! 334 00:17:35,570 --> 00:17:36,570 Garth! 335 00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,350 Open this door now! 336 00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:41,970 I ain't doing any good. 337 00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:44,670 She was going to tell you herself. 338 00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:47,450 Eventually. She just didn't know how to. 339 00:17:49,530 --> 00:17:51,890 Not ripping our clothes to shreds by now. 340 00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:56,150 Your dad bought her that mirror. 341 00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:14,070 when she gets home. 342 00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:16,590 Oh, Garth and me. 343 00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:18,070 Please. 344 00:18:20,110 --> 00:18:23,550 Is that you, Trace? Oh, who else has got a key? 345 00:18:23,830 --> 00:18:26,030 Garth has. Now get your bum up here quick. 346 00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:32,810 What's happening? 347 00:18:33,110 --> 00:18:37,390 He's in there ripping your clothes to shreds. He's also improving the value of 348 00:18:37,390 --> 00:18:40,370 your house by providing you with a second indoor swimming pool. 349 00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:41,650 I'll kill the little... 350 00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:48,180 Dead? Who? 351 00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,240 I tried to be tactful, Trace. 352 00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:53,440 Oh, that's a bundle, Murphy. 353 00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:56,860 Garth, it's Mummy. 354 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,420 Come out, please. 355 00:18:58,820 --> 00:18:59,820 Get stuffed. 356 00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:02,680 Too grand a turn, Wilsby. 357 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,380 Oh, please, I'm sorry. 358 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:08,400 It's all my fault. I should have told you I was a coward. 359 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:10,260 No, in the door! 360 00:19:11,660 --> 00:19:18,470 Open this door now. or I'll go into your room, rip up all your West Bank 361 00:19:18,470 --> 00:19:22,130 programmes, chuck your computer out the window and I'll tell your dad about the 362 00:19:22,130 --> 00:19:23,690 dirty magazine I found under your bed. 363 00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:28,490 It was Dad's magazine. 364 00:19:29,030 --> 00:19:30,310 I was only lending it. 365 00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:31,890 Oh. 366 00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:37,530 Garth, can I come in? 367 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,190 Hold on, Mum. Let me just take the blue movie out of the video. 368 00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:43,730 I was only joking. 369 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,320 Do you mind if I turn it off? 370 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:48,640 Nah, it's only sky. 371 00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:50,860 So what can I do for you then? 372 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,900 Do you want to borrow another deaf leopard tape? 373 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,260 We've been thinking. 374 00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,160 We? Me and your auntie Sharon. 375 00:19:58,540 --> 00:20:00,140 Oh, she can think, can she? 376 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,920 But I suppose she has to take her mouth out of gear first. 377 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,460 Do you want to flick here? 378 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:05,820 That's all right, Mum, I've already eaten. 379 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,720 Anyway, we've been thinking, and I really think that you should go back to 380 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:12,720 school. 381 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:13,960 Oh, I am going back to school. 382 00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:15,460 Lay it in comprehensive. 383 00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,200 No, not lay it in comprehensive. Fix. 384 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,600 Yeah, but you said... Look, I know what I've said, but I've changed me mind. 385 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,140 Nah, it's her, isn't it? 386 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:24,760 Arnie Hitler. 387 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,700 And that's letting you off lightly. If your dad was here, he'd give you a right 388 00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:31,780 good idea in flipping my clothes to shreds. Yeah, if my dad was here, I 389 00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:32,780 have done it. 390 00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:34,140 I know. 391 00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:36,580 Look. 392 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,760 This is from your dad. 393 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:43,200 I didn't want to show you before because it's got some, well, quite personal 394 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,200 things in it. 395 00:20:44,430 --> 00:20:45,950 I want you to read that bit there. 396 00:20:48,350 --> 00:20:52,970 I want the boy to stay at public school, pass his exams and get some 397 00:20:52,970 --> 00:20:56,230 qualifications so he don't have to take to crime. 398 00:20:57,830 --> 00:21:00,970 He wouldn't want me to stay at Fisk if he knew what he was really like. 399 00:21:01,910 --> 00:21:03,170 I've been banged up too. 400 00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:07,590 Look, I know it's hard, love, but you're making a guy at Fisk to help your dad 401 00:21:07,590 --> 00:21:08,590 do his bird. 402 00:21:09,110 --> 00:21:11,930 I mean, if we got up there tomorrow and tell him you're doing a runner... 403 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,400 It'll be like ashes in his mouth. 404 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,120 Well, I've said me piece. 405 00:21:18,340 --> 00:21:19,720 It's down to you now, Garfield. 406 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,780 What, you really reckon it means that much to him? Well, you can ask him 407 00:21:23,780 --> 00:21:24,780 yourself tomorrow. 408 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,160 All right. 409 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,420 I'll turn myself in. 410 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:33,000 If anybody tries to bully me, I'll tell them my dad's a big -time villain and 411 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,060 he'll get his lads down here to rearrange their faces. 412 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,580 Yeah, I'm all for the subtle approach. 413 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:40,280 Good night, love. 414 00:21:40,620 --> 00:21:41,620 Yeah, good night, Mum. 415 00:21:43,610 --> 00:21:45,190 It'll be all right. Yeah. 416 00:21:46,690 --> 00:21:47,690 Good night, Mum. 417 00:21:51,190 --> 00:21:53,850 Well? He's going to go back and do his time. 418 00:21:54,110 --> 00:21:55,110 Oh, great. 419 00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:56,690 My speech any help? 420 00:21:56,890 --> 00:22:00,390 Yeah, I think the bit about the ashes in the mass swung it. I knew it would. 421 00:22:00,890 --> 00:22:03,250 Works in war and remembrance of Robert Mitchum. 422 00:22:17,260 --> 00:22:18,260 Do you have to have that crap on? 423 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,720 The ground results are coming up in a minute. 424 00:22:23,140 --> 00:22:24,460 I don't believe it. 425 00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:27,040 What? I do not believe it. 426 00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:29,340 Of course you don't believe it. It's in the tongue. 427 00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:35,980 No. I mean, Bretton Woods is under the 30 in the 245 at Wincanton. 428 00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:38,220 So? So, he'll walk it. 429 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:39,560 And he'll come last. 430 00:22:39,780 --> 00:22:41,040 The other horses will be running. 431 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,580 You should volunteer for the prison panto. 432 00:22:44,980 --> 00:22:46,340 There's the back end of the cow. 433 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:51,000 Well, there's got to be a way to get a bet on in this rat hole. 434 00:22:51,460 --> 00:22:54,240 Look, I'm trying to read Tracy's letter, all right? And it's hard enough. 435 00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:57,600 It's hard enough without you rabbiting on and on. 436 00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:59,380 Well, you're going to be seeing her this afternoon. 437 00:22:59,940 --> 00:23:03,020 There are things in this letter I know she won't say in a room full of people. 438 00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:06,400 Oh, a bit naughty, is it? Here, can I borrow it tonight? 439 00:23:06,620 --> 00:23:07,620 You are barfed. 440 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,660 You still ain't told Garfield where I am. 441 00:23:10,740 --> 00:23:11,940 Starts both for the best, really. 442 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,880 He wants me to go off with him, you see, and I do love him. He excites me. 443 00:23:16,330 --> 00:23:19,050 My husband's always been good to me in our little girl. I really like my 444 00:23:19,050 --> 00:23:20,050 husband. 445 00:23:20,390 --> 00:23:21,390 But you don't love him? 446 00:23:21,830 --> 00:23:24,710 He's away so much, you see, in the Navy. We don't see him for months sometimes, 447 00:23:24,990 --> 00:23:26,070 and now I'm pregnant again. 448 00:23:26,510 --> 00:23:28,770 I think it's really brave of Fergie to ring up. 449 00:23:31,730 --> 00:23:35,410 A wife of a serviceman, or a man whose work takes him away for long stretches. 450 00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:37,050 Yeah, like the 12 stretch. 451 00:23:37,510 --> 00:23:38,509 Shut it. 452 00:23:38,510 --> 00:23:40,090 And I'm not getting any younger, you see. 453 00:23:41,730 --> 00:23:42,810 They're all the same, women. 454 00:23:43,230 --> 00:23:45,250 She won't wait, neither will our two. 455 00:23:46,169 --> 00:23:48,870 Mind you, Sharon, clear enough, don't cause me no grief. 456 00:23:49,430 --> 00:23:50,890 Tracy's never looked at another fella. 457 00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:52,109 Well, no. 458 00:23:52,110 --> 00:23:54,030 Not if you're around. Of course not. 459 00:23:54,410 --> 00:23:55,410 But you're in here. 460 00:23:55,870 --> 00:23:56,870 She's out there. 461 00:23:57,410 --> 00:24:02,750 Contracted woman, 32, just coming to her sexual peak with that rat bag of a wife 462 00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:05,030 of mine to lead her astray. Shut up, Chris. 463 00:24:05,470 --> 00:24:06,730 Yeah, I've got to face facts, Del. 464 00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:09,290 They all get itchy knickers sooner or later. 465 00:24:10,470 --> 00:24:11,530 Not my Tracy. 466 00:24:12,830 --> 00:24:15,930 And we all wish Jane of Egham the best of luck. Now, after the news and sport, 467 00:24:16,010 --> 00:24:17,750 we'll be back with Tracy from Essex. 468 00:24:19,410 --> 00:24:21,370 Oh, it didn't take that long, did it? 469 00:24:26,830 --> 00:24:31,910 I'm sure you're a boy in, Mum. 470 00:24:32,770 --> 00:24:34,530 It's a nicer area than Brixton, though. 471 00:24:34,970 --> 00:24:38,430 And it's easier to park. Oh, that'll be a great comfort to the boys, that will. 472 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,160 Hello. Hello. 473 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,000 What time did he let us in? 474 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,099 About one. 475 00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:47,100 Oh. 476 00:24:47,140 --> 00:24:48,720 First time here, is it? Yeah. 477 00:24:48,940 --> 00:24:50,200 Our Kevin's on remand. 478 00:24:50,580 --> 00:24:53,800 Gone through a fight in a pub one night and forgot he had a glass in his hand. 479 00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:55,300 How unfortunate. 480 00:24:56,020 --> 00:24:58,100 Excuse me, there's something dripping out the bottom of your bag. 481 00:24:58,660 --> 00:24:59,700 Oh, no. 482 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,200 That'll be our Kevin's artist role. 483 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,120 It's his favourite. I wrapped it in newspaper. 484 00:25:05,660 --> 00:25:06,800 I can't bring food in here. 485 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:09,160 What? Ah, they've changed the roles. 486 00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:12,860 You used to be a lad, but you can't anymore on account of all the drugs and 487 00:25:12,860 --> 00:25:15,220 everything. Can't get high on Arctic roll. 488 00:25:16,020 --> 00:25:18,500 No, I mean... I've only got my giant Yorkie bar. 489 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:20,640 Saved a cherry Genoa. 490 00:25:20,940 --> 00:25:22,080 Some instant whip. 491 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:23,520 Hey. 492 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:28,080 Some tins of draft Guinness. I love draft Guinness. That's what he was 493 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,059 that night. 494 00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:30,400 What are we going to do with it all? 495 00:25:30,820 --> 00:25:31,860 Well, I ain't eating yet. 496 00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:34,780 It's a lovely day for a picnic. 497 00:25:39,260 --> 00:25:40,260 Where's Morning? 498 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,080 I hope you don't smoke. Your dad'll break your neck. 499 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,840 Well, that'll help him get parole. 500 00:25:46,500 --> 00:25:53,020 Perry, Matlock, Peake, Haynes, Waller and Dudley. 501 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:55,940 Here, hang on, hang on. 502 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:57,640 What about us? 503 00:25:58,900 --> 00:25:59,900 Well, who are you then? 504 00:26:00,300 --> 00:26:02,140 You got your visiting orders for today, have you? 505 00:26:02,380 --> 00:26:04,020 No, we're Japanese tourists. 506 00:26:07,850 --> 00:26:08,990 We're not on my list. 507 00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:11,110 Hang a bat. 508 00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,230 We've come all the way from Liverpool. 509 00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:15,570 Liverpool? Yeah, Liverpool. 510 00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:23,370 Well, it looks like you've had a wasted journey, filler. 511 00:26:23,570 --> 00:26:24,570 What? 512 00:26:25,270 --> 00:26:29,010 Prisoner 1296521 Stubbs is on rule 47. 513 00:26:29,690 --> 00:26:30,830 Well, what's that in English? 514 00:26:31,110 --> 00:26:34,290 It means he's on punishment for doing gross personal violence to a fellow 515 00:26:34,290 --> 00:26:35,290 prisoner. 516 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:37,900 Aren't you calling me a liar? 517 00:26:38,260 --> 00:26:40,320 No. But what happened? 518 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:45,060 This is Her Majesty's prison, not the Daily Telegraph information service. 519 00:26:45,460 --> 00:26:46,460 Oh. 520 00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:47,980 Gordon Bennett. 521 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:49,780 Here we go. 522 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,060 The old waterworks. 523 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:53,980 Oi, don't talk to my mum like that. 524 00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:54,999 All right. 525 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,000 All right. 526 00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:57,900 Hold on. 527 00:27:00,700 --> 00:27:02,620 I don't understand it, Shell. 528 00:27:02,980 --> 00:27:04,560 Daryl's not a violent bloke. 529 00:27:05,130 --> 00:27:06,570 Well, he is in for armed robbery. 530 00:27:07,830 --> 00:27:10,050 Oh, he's got a lovely nature. 531 00:27:10,730 --> 00:27:14,450 Some Toreg. Some piece of filth must have provoked him. 532 00:27:17,510 --> 00:27:18,510 What happened? 533 00:27:19,170 --> 00:27:22,230 Seems he got involved in a nasty punch -up in the dinner queue. 534 00:27:22,630 --> 00:27:26,210 What? Yeah, got into a heated debate about the sanctity of marriage. 535 00:27:26,730 --> 00:27:30,210 Aye? Yeah, this other concert you'd be shafted all comers by Christmas. 536 00:27:31,530 --> 00:27:34,520 And then Bishbosh... One in solitary, one in plaster. 537 00:27:35,220 --> 00:27:38,420 So what about Markery? He's still, mate. Was he involved? 538 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:39,379 Oh, yes. 539 00:27:39,380 --> 00:27:40,680 He was in the thick of it. 540 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,980 Trust him. Lad's a rat. 541 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,080 What was he thinking up for me? 542 00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:47,160 Not exactly. 543 00:27:49,540 --> 00:27:54,340 Dear Sharon, I'm sorry I couldn't see you today, but me and Darren...